As a new part of this blog, we will periodically be posting answers to questions that we receive over email. We get a lot of questions emailed to us… really good questions that many people feel uncomfortable asking friends, family, and even health care providers. We are more than happy to answer these questions for you, so if any come to mind, please don’t hesitate to email them to info(at)early2bed.com!
Question:
I have some concerns about experiencing anal sex with my partner. We have never done it together, although I have in a past relationship. Do you have any products that contain the ingredient that is supposed to somewhat relieve the pain wherever it is applied. I’ve heard of Anal Eaze, but I have never tried it. I have anal beads that we use on occasion, but I still experience a lot of pain with those and I was just curious if there is any lubricant out there that is supposed to help.
Answer:
Thank you so much for writing! It is very difficult to find honest, useful advice regarding anal sex, and you absolutely came to the right place!
Many many people ask about “anal eaze” and other numbing creams, and I cannot stress to you enough how dangerous those are. Please, if you take nothing else away from this email, remember that! Your ass is made of very, very delicate, sensitive tissue, and your pain responses are there for a reason… to let you know when you’re being injured! If you numb the area, you are at enormous risk of hurting yourself. Don’t use it!!
That said, I can say with 100% certainty that there should be NO PAIN with any kind of anal play if you do it correctly. Sounds crazy, right? Well it’s true. So if you’re feeling pain, take a break, relax, lube up again and give it another go. It should not hurt. But there are many reasons why it could, and that’s where we need to start:
1. The ass does not self-lubricate. Unlike your vag, there is no natural lubrication in your anus. So you MUST use a lubricant. No exceptions. A thick water-based lube is great–like Maximus or Slippery Stuff (we sell both). Some people also like silicone-based lubes (like Eros), but though they never dry out and get sticky, they are not thick, and many people find they prefer a lube “cushion” of sorts.
2. You cannot lie to your ass. If you are subconsciously unsure if you want things in your butt, even if you convince yourself that you do, your ass will refuse to cooperate. If you’re stressed, upset, tired, anxious… your ass knows. Those sphincters will clench up and ain’t nothin going in without a fight. The best way to get around it? RELAX! Getting yourself aroused is the best way to relax–have your partner stimulate you in the way you like best, masturbate, watch a sexy movie, get a massage… whatever it takes. It will help.
3. You must go slow. Once you’re lubed up and relaxed, you still need to go slow. Take those beads or that cock in a little at a time. Build up, finger by finger so you can get used to the sensations. Do not force anything in your butt, or it just won’t be any fun.
So the big lessons here? No numbing lubes! But use lots of regular, thick lube! Relax, get all revved up and horny, and take it real slow. If it hurts, STOP. Take a breather, fool around some more, and go back to it. Anal play is not “supposed” to hurt… do not listen to anyone who says otherwise!
Happy humping!
