When we wrote Mermaid last week, frantically begging her to do a rush review on a new toy, she really stepped up to the plate! We were so impressed with her review that we are planning to carry this brand new toy, so keep checking back for Jollies–a new addition to the Early to Bed dildo family!
Review by Mermaid
When I first saw this toy, I exclaimed, “Holy fuck!”
It looks complicated, and honestly, even intimidating at first glance.
I mean… it’s a dildo with a finger hole/handle built into its complicated-looking base.
My first thoughts were, “What do I do with the… handle bar? Is it a… handle…?” and “Why is it shaped so weird?”
But once I read the user’s manual for this bizarre device, the idea of putting it into my cunt became not only plausible, but also appealing!
This silicone dildo is specifically designed to emulate the inner anatomy of a cunt.
Its shaft has a smooth bump in it for ultimate g-spot pressure,
and the tip is angled slightly downward in order to politely rest underneath the cervix for a “filled” feeling instead of crashing directly
into the poor cervix (like some misdirected toys and cocks are prone to do).
The hole in its base doubles as a thumb hole for easier thrusting, or as a holder for a “bullet”-style vibrator.
Lastly, there’s an external thumb-like structure with ridges on it for clitoral fun.
This toy is designed to be a main-stay on nightstands. It’s the most multi-functional toy I have ever seen. It’s basically multiple toys at once
without having to buy extra equipment; it’s a dildo, g-spot toy,
and clitoral toy.
Like an eager lover, it wants to please you in any way it possibly can. But this is no quickie; it wants to stay in your life permanently.
If this toy were a real person, it’d probably pay for your cab ride home afterward and send you flowers the next morning.
On the flip-side, this dildo’s confusing appearance may repel people from trying it out. I imagine that size queens will be unimpressed by the Jollie’s standard
measurements. Also, the brochure says it’s strap-on accessible, though I’m not certain if the uniquely-shaped base is particularly ideal for a harness.
And, somewhat embaressing to admit; after my first time using this toy, I had to pee about 4 times afterward. I’ll chock this up to the fact that the toy gives such a full, internal massage.
With my first test, I was amazed at how comfortably full it made me feel. It had just enough girth to make me feel filled up but not overtly or painfully so.
It was so unbelievably comfortable, I felt like I could roll over, stand up, and walk around my apartment with it still inside of me.
Thrusting was made easier with the thumb hole; I didn’t have to strain my arm at all in order to fuck myself with the toy.
After I pulled it out, I felt very relaxed and balanced; like I had just had a massage instead of a fuck. It’s not surprising that this toy was designed by a holistic practitioner. I can imagine this very zen-minded person trying to figure out how to align people’s chakras and bring about world peace through vaginal penetration.
Then, I tested the toy with my boyfriend. We’ve had prior experience with dildos; he commented that the Jollie inserted faster than other toys we’ve tried.
He credited this to the fact that the toy is based off vaginal anatomy. He was also a fan of the built-in finger hole/handle bar, saying that it made
thrusting very easy. And when we removed the toy, he insisted that my cunt felt much more relaxed than it had been before.
All in all, despite its somewhat strange appearance, this is an extremely comfortable and satisfying ride.
It made me feel “full” at a nearly spiritual level; I had never used a dildo specifically designed after my own internal anatomy before.
It was like meeting my sexual half. I will continue to use this toy whenever I desire sexual-spiritual fulfillment or just a good internal workout.
