Question:Â
I have a question, I don’t even know if I’m posting this in the right place. But my girl friend and i have been together for almost 2 years… Shes a little nervous about trying out a ‘dildo or a vibrator. I wanted to know what vibrator or dildo was best for us.
She says she wants to get one, but i can tell she is very nervous, It will be our first time ever using a dildo, but she seems to be more nervous about it then I am. Also she seems to be a little more sensitive in the vagina area. So what should i use that will be satisfying, yet not so painful?
We are looking for nothing more then 6 inches long. and thickness I’m not sure. And also, are we better off with a vibrator or strap on? We do want one of us to be able to wear it, but do they make strap on vibrators? And like I said, what would be more pleasing?
Answer:
Well first off, let’s make sure we’re on the same page here. Terminology can get a little bit confusing, so I just want to make sure we’re all talking about the same thing. A dildo is an elongated, generally non-vibrating toy that can be realistic (ie, shaped like a cock) or non-realistic (shaped like other things or just generally non-anatomical), and can be made of a number of different materials, from rubber to silicone to cyberskin. Many dildos have a flared base to make them easier to harness. There are vibrating dildos, but most vibrating toys are simply called vibrators. They can come in many shapes and sizes, can be used clitorally and sometimes (depending on the shape) internally, but never have a flared base for harnessing. NOW! to answer your question. 
If your girlfriend is interested in dildos but nervous about using them, I think the best policy is to be patient, take it slow, and remember to have fun! It might take awhile for you both to get used to using your new implement, so take some time to get to know it. Seriously! Wear it around for awhile. Fool around while wearing it but without using it at first. You can become more comfortable with using it when you really feel attached to it, so to speak. That said, if it doesn’t work out the first, second, tenth time you try and use it, don’t freak out. Just go back to doing the fooling around you love best, and come back to it another time. Fun. Fun is the key here. Oh, and lube. If your girlfriend is sensitive, be sure to use lots of water-based, gentle lube. Sliquid H2O is a great option.  If it seems appropriate for your situation, maybe a medical check-up is in order just to make absolutely sure her sensitivity isn’t due to an infection or other irritation. Obviously I don’t know your exact situation, but use your best judgment.
Okay, now to the fun part. How do you pick out a dildo? Our website includes the dimensions of all our dildos, so if you see one that you like, you can immediately find out the length and diameter. In choosing a dildo, as counter-intuitive as it may sound, length is not as important as girth. You don’t need to insert the entire length of a dildo, and also you need to take into account that you will lose some length once you insert it through a harness because of the fabric thickness and O-ring. With that in mind, a nice, smooth dildo without too much girth is Mistress. Mistress is made of high-quality silicone and is a great shape for harnessing. If you don’t want to spend the money on a silicone dildo just yet, you might be interested in Danny or Blue, if you want something less realistic (although Blue can be difficult to harness because of its flimsy base). We do also have a couple of vibrating dildos… Buzz and Pink Panther come with wireless vibes tucked into a little hole in their base, and these dildos can be used with or without the vibrator, depending on your mood! As for which you would enjoy more… I can’t really answer that, much as I wish I could! Only you can figure that out. If you’re not sure you want a vibrating dildo, you also have a couple other options. You can get our Vibe Harness, which has a, you guessed it, vibrator in the harness! Or you can always get a vibrating cockring and put it on the dildo when you feel like getting a little extra clit stimulation out of it.
You didn’t ask about how to pick out a harness, but even so, I’m going to direct you to our Q & A page. Just click on the “Strap-On Sex” topic for more information on picking out harnesses, some more info on dildos, and general tips on strap-on sexing it up!
I hope this answers your question, but please don’t hesitate to write back for more information!
Happy Humping!
-Eden
