Strap-on sex can be a hoot for people of all genders and orientations! All you need is some purchasing tips, a little imagination, and a lot of lube! But first, the tips…
Many first-time strappers shuffle into the store with Hollywood images of an all-in-one “strap-on” in their heads, but we find that when you can mix-and-match your preferred harness with your favorite dildo, not only do you increase you and your partner’s satisfaction, but you have so much more versatility! You can amass an arsenal of dildos and choose one according to your mood!
Harnesses mostly come in two main styles–the one-strap (or thong) and the two-strap. Although it is less common, some people like the one-strap because the thong strap rubs directly on the genitals. However, many other people prefer the two-strap harness because it leaves the wearer’s genitals open and available for stimulation with hands, vibrators, butt plugs, and double dildos! In addition to these two types, there are also thigh harnesses and wrist harnesses for couples of different sizes, those with disabilities, or anyone who wants to try something different!
Harnesses are also made of different materials, generally nylon and leather. Much of the choice of material and style boils down to aesthetics and price. There is not much variation in comfort involved in the material, but some people prefer the feel and look of leather, while others prefer the affordability and easy clean-up of nylon. The fasteners range from backpack straps to buckles, and each has its pros and cons. For example, buckles are sturdier but harder to adjust in the moment. Figuring out what works best for you is a combination of imagination and trial-and-error.
If you’re new to strap-on sex, look for a harness with snaps so you can experiment with different ring sizes (the ring holds the dildo), and a back patch that you have the option of removing. This way you can figure out what works best for you! Some harnesses come with mini-vibrators, and there are even some kits (that include dildos) for first-timers!
Okay. So now you have your harness. How on earth do you choose a dildo? Well, you can narrow down your choices very easily by just using your intuition. You can tell a lot just by looking at them! Like Goldilocks, some will be too big, others too small, but inevitably you will find some that are just right. Then you can decide if you want a realistic-looking dildo or a more abstract-looking one, you can choose by color, and finally by material! We like silicone because it is hypoallergenic, long-lasting, and easy to clean and sterilize. But it is relatively expensive, so you may prefer to start with a jelly rubber dildo. Cyberskin is also a wonderful material because, you guessed it… it feels just like skin! It is, however, a fragile material, so just be careful how you clean and store it. And one last tip… you probably want to stick with dildos that either have no balls or very flat balls, otherwise they will be wobbly and uncomfortable in your harness.
So… now what, right? Well, like we said before, strap-on sex is fun for all genders! Surprised? It’s true! You can bend over your boyfriend and stimulate his prostate anally with your strap-on; your male partner can strap on for a different experience or size or even for double penetration; your female partner can strap on a double dildo and be the penetrat-or and penetrat-ee at the same time! And we haven’t even gotten into using vibrators, butt plugs, and cockrings! Or giving the wearer a visual feast with a strap-on blowjob! The possibilities are endless, so use your imagination!
One final word–on lube. Real, scientifically viable studies have been done on lube use among sexually active couples, and these scientific studies have shown that couples that use lube tend to have more satisfying sex. What’s not to love? Slap a little water-based lube on your dildo and enjoy smooth sailing into your and your partner’s preferred orifices. Ahoy mateys!
