You know what I’m tired of? The “how does the female orgasm fit into evolutionary science” argument. I’m tired of all angles of this argument, from the camp that says there must be some way female orgasm makes women more evolutionarily viable — as mothers, mates, potential mothers, potential mates– and I’m tired of the other camp that says female orgasm is a by-product of selection — men have them, so women do too.
I’m not tired of these arguments from the angle that either represents a value judgment on women and what it means for us to be sexual or sexually viable. I realize that evidence is evidence, regardless of how you feel about it, and if the evidence is truly present, value judgment is irrelevant. The problem I have is that the angle that is taken in explaining female orgasm — in explaining any orgasm — is that “evolutionarily viable” always means “promoting reproduction.” As if that is the only reason humans have and have ever had sex (and by sex I mean all kinds of sex, not just penis-in-vagina).
Who knows what role sex played to our early ancestors? Maybe it was something they did in groups, to pass the time, to solve problems, to play, to promote societal cohesion. Maybe one’s “fitness” in society at large was determined by the number of orgasms one could have. Maybe treaties were signed with mutual BJs! Why do we view evolution as this tiresome, single-minded slog through time — the scientific version of your grandmother who wants you to keep having babies so she can spoil them on major holidays? Why doesn’t anyone seem to take into account that our own prudish views of sex might be keeping us from truly understanding things like the human orgasm? Women can have multiple orgasms… why is that? Men can come without ejaculating… surely that won’t help in having children! Just because sex holds a relatively private place in society now doesn’t mean it always has. I’m no evolutionary biologist, but I don’t think evolutionary fitness always means keeping one’s reproductive nose to the grindstone. You’ve got to be fit for what’s going on right now — to maintain a level of societal organization that can be sustained through, ideally, many generations. Mightn’t that be an argument for the “selection” of orgasm? Maybe we’ll never know. But I’d love it if the question was asked, even once.
