Y’all made this a difficult choice for us, but the EtB staff has finally narrowed down the haiku contest entries to our favorite seven — with prizes, of course, for the top three! Read on for the fabulous winners!
Masturbation May Haiku Contest Finalists:
Extra pair of hands!
Figured out my final wish
…where’d that genie go?!
~by Kay Em
Never liked my junk
Now I bottom with comfort
Sleeves: for boy-clits, too
~by Lex
Work it, make it, do…
Harder, faster, stronger, more…
Daft Punk calls the shots.
~by xMech
My va-jay-jay tastes
like summer on a hot day
Ice-cream anyone?
~by Lisa
Third Place:
doing my Kegels:
the perfect way to enjoy
self-love anywhere.
~by Nicolle
Second Place:
Can’t sleep, what to do
Dive down below, very slow
Heated burst, out cold
~by Hoffmanicole
And the grand prize goes to:
finally alone
*quickly pulls up his waistband*
not alone at all
~by Mattitiyahu
