Author Archives: earlytobed

Girl ant clones!

Hello and welcome to another edition of “Weird sex in the Animal Kingdom!”
Here’s a chilling tale - of an ant species made entire of females who clone themselves to reproduce! Quite the opposite of our lascivious chimp-tastic relatives, eh? Wink wink.
Go ahead! Read some more about asexual lady ant clones.
-Eden

Bachelorette Party Season is Upon Us!

Yes, folks, it is that time of year again when blushing brides have one last wild night out with the girls! To honor that, we have added a new category to our website “Bachelorette Gift Ideas”
Here you will find some of the items that we think are particularly fun for the bride-to-be and unlike a [...]

Renowned Hoo-ha Doctor Wins Nobel Prize

…sez The Onion.
Once again, The Onion sticks it to us hilariously for our utter stupidity. Even those of us who know our “vulvas” from our “vaginas” can have trouble saying the right term at the right time.
And can someone PLEASE come up with a good enough, not-too-cutesy, too scientific, or too graphic shorthand for cunnilingus? [...]

Earth Day!

Yes yes, Earth Day is today.. and while NOT buying anything probably the best way to help the environment, that is not really any fun, is it? So I have put together a little list of some sexy items that have a lower impact on Mother Earth then some other options out there.
Buying Sex Toys [...]

Accidental Advice: Bicycle Sex

Today’s search term: Bicycle Sex
This search term immediately caught my eye, though it’s less humorous on the surface than many of the other topics I’ve chosen. It makes me think of three things:
1) The scene in Sixteen Candles with Long Duck Dong dry-humping his girlfriend on the exercise bike at that party.
2) Trying, unsuccessfully, to [...]

Chimps trade meat for sex.

What kind of a sex blog would we be without the occasional nod to the sexual  practices of other primates? Yes, friends, here is another installment of “Bedroom Habits of Great Apes”!
As it turns out, male chimps that share meat with female chimps get laid way more often:
“By sharing, the males increase the number of [...]

Lessons learned from orgies

I’ve posted a blog by Greta Christina before, and I have to say, she is quickly becoming one of my favorite sex bloggers. It seems like a cop-out to just keep pasting her blogs here, but really, I couldn’t say any of this better.
Check out “My Very First Orgy and What I Learned There“. Five [...]

Review of Good Head and Cock Lasso

Check out blogger Vagina Drum’s clever and snarky review of Good Head and Cock Lasso! Love it!

Blogger review of Hot Heart Massager and Afterglow Tissues!

So much love on the internets today!
Check out Scarlet’s Letter’s review of our Hot Heart Massager and Afterglow Toy Tissues!

Staff Review: S-Curve Glass Dildo

by Kayo
Being a beautiful, colorful glass dildo would have been enough to make me want to try out the S-Curve glass dildo, but the fact that it was also handmade was an extra turn-on.  However, I’m going to confess, I wasn’t able to go at it right away.  The length of the dildo is great [...]