Tag Archives: the onion

American Nipples Seriously Under-Clamped, sez The Onion

WASHINGTON—A new study released this week by the U.S. Bureau of Masochism has concluded that American nipples are critically under-clamped, bolstering long-held suspicions that the nation is rapidly losing interest in the thin, delectable line between pleasure and pain.
According to the study, which surveyed a wide swath of citizens who have been very, very bad, [...]

Renowned Hoo-ha Doctor Wins Nobel Prize

…sez The Onion.
Once again, The Onion sticks it to us hilariously for our utter stupidity. Even those of us who know our “vulvas” from our “vaginas” can have trouble saying the right term at the right time.
And can someone PLEASE come up with a good enough, not-too-cutesy, too scientific, or too graphic shorthand for cunnilingus? [...]