Customer Support
1.1 What is your best selling toy?

In the wacky world of sex toys, bestseller does not always equate to best and what works for some may not work for you. That said, we sell a whole ton of lube, condoms, silver bullets and Magic Wands. 


1.2 What Vibrator should I get?

That if kind of like asking us what kind of cereal you should buy. We don't know what you like!

But here are some questions to consider: Do you prefer soft material or hard plastic? Do you want something you can use just on your clit, on your clit as well as internally, or both at the same time? Do you want to be able to use it in the shower or bath? Are you allergic to latex? Will you be sharing the toy? Do you like low rumbles or a high pitched buzz? Do lots of speeds and patterns appeal to you or are you into streamlined and simple toys? How much power do you need? Will it bother you or your roommate if its on the louder side? Can you throw down $150 on a toy or does $10 sound more your speed? 

Overwhelmed? That’s because everyone is different! If it's your first vibe and you can’t answer any of those questions, start out with something cheap, with multiple speeds that you can use both internally and externally. Or grab one of our first timer’s kits!  

You can also check out our Toys For First Timer's Section for easy shopping!


1.3 Why does it look like my vibrator has been opened?

Because we had to open it! If a toy takes batteries, we test it to make sure it works before sending it to you. There is nothing worse than finding your new sex toy doesn’t work. We assure that we only sell brand-new sex toys and that any broken seal on a toy is just a result of us doing quality control. 


1.4 Why is there no box for my toy?

Some of our toys like silver bullets, packys, power bullets and others don’t come in boxes or branded packaging. We get some items in bulk so we can pass on the savings to you. Don’t worry, we promise your toy is brand spanking new. 


1.5 Do you carry spermicidal lube ?

Nope. Its great that you want to back up your condoms, but spermicide can irritate mucus membranes, making you more vulnerable to STDs. Try another back up method like the pill or an IUD.


1.6 Do you sell stay-hard cream or pills?

Nope. We have yet to see any that really work and are very safe to use. And we don’t believe in selling things that don’t work and are possibly harmful. Try a good old-fashioned cock ring to keep the blood in your boner or talk to your doctor about prescription medication. 


1.7 Do you sell anal-eaze or throat numbing spray?


We believe that we have sex in order to experience pleasure, which means feeling all the feelings. Anal sex should not hurt and if it does you need to know so you can ask your partner to slow down and add some more lube (you really can’t have too much!). If you can’t feel what’s going on you can end up really damaging yourself - it's delicate back there!

Want more tips on Anal Sex? Click HERE.

As for throat numbing spray, we don't want hurting yourself and we can point you in the direction of info that will help you give a world class BJ without gagging. We suggest checking out this BOOK, this DVD or this awesome BJ assist TOY.


1.8 Will you sell the product that I make?

Maybe! We do love great locally-made, woman-made, queer-made and/or handmade products! If you want us to consider your products please send an email to searah@early2bed with the following information:

• What you sell (include pictures or links to a site that has pictures) 

• How much the items cost. Both their suggested retail price (or what you sell them to consumers for) and the wholesale price per item. 

• What is the minimum order 

• How you take payment (PayPal, check, Venmo, etc..)

• What is the lead time after an order is placed

• What shipping methods you use



1.9 Whose hand is in all your pictures and what does that tattoo say?

Most of the pictures are the hands of our fearless leader and Early to Bed's owner, Searah. The tattoo on her left wrist says "Splendid". On the right (less frequently seen due to the fact that she is usually holding her camera in that hand) the wrist says "Father" in Korean. 

Some of our other hand models include Searah's librarian buddy and a former staffer who now runs Sex Kiki in chicago. 


1.10 Do you have an Affiliate Program?

Why yes we do! All the info you need is here


2.1 Do you ship discreetly?

Of course we do! We know how precious your privacy is so please know that we value it highly. We use USPS-issued Priority Mail or plain brown boxes with a return label that says ETB/FTME.

Because we love the earth, we occasionally re-use boxes, but nothing that leaves our shop ever indicates the nature of the products insides. We promise. 


2.2 What will my purchase show up as on my credit card statement?

On most cards it will show up as Early to Bed, inc, but there is never indication of what you purchased and we are listed usually as a Gift Shop or Dvd Rental (we are not sure why) but never SEX TOYS or ADULT STORE or anything like that. 


2.3 I don't like my toy, can I return it?

No we are sorry but you cannot. We can only accept returns on defective items with prior authorization. Once an item leaves our shop we cannot take it back if you don't like it*.


Of course if there is a mistake with your order or the item doesn't work right, do let us know! All items have a 60 day warranty from us and many items have longer warranties from the maker (check your packaging when you get your toy!). If there is a mistake with your order, let us know within 24 hours of getting it. If your product doesn't function right, email us at [email protected].


*Think about it, would you want to buy from a shop that took back people's sex toys?


2.4 How long will it take to get my order?

We aim to ship out most orders in one business day, but how long it takes to get to you depends on where you are, when you placed your order and our stock levels. Most US customers get their order in 2-5 business* days, but we ask that you allow up to 8 days for your package to arrive. 

*Remember a business day is non-holiday weekday, so weekends and USPS holidays do not count. 


2.5 Do you have everything in the store that you have online?

We ship everything from the store, so if we can ship it, you can come here and find it. We try to keep the website updated when something is out of stock, and we usually get items back in within a couple days. Occasionally there are some items from the site that we don’t keep on display but we keep them in the back, so just ask if you don’t see something.


2.6 Do you ship Internationally?

Right now because of the impact of COVID and new laws because of Brexit, we are only shipping to the US, Canada and Australia. Sorry!

3.1 Storefront location, hours and other info

We are located at 5138 N Clark street on Chicago's north side. 

Normal business hours are:

  • Monday 11-7pm
  • Tuesday 11-7pm
  • Wednesday 11-7pm
  • Thursday 11-7pm
  • Friday 11-8pm
  • Saturday 11-8pm
  • Sunday 11-7pm

We are wheelchair accessible

We offer discounts for students and sex industry workers (bring your business card or tell us the name of your website when you come in)


3.2 How old do I have to be to shop here?

Your must be 18 years or older to shop in our storefront or purchase from us online. If you are under 18 and want great info on sex please visit our buds at

If you are under 18 and looking for gender expression gear, please visit our other website


3.3 How do make a request for a donation?
Click on the link below to make a request for a donation to help raise money for a non-for-profit, community group or other philanthropic cause. 
3.4 Can you come talk to my college class/social group or other Chicago-based organization?


We just ask that you fill out this for to get started: 

School/Group Visit request form


We have three popular classes, but can tailor them to your audience:


Sex is Good! This is our most popular workshop for colleges! In this fun and informative workshop we talk about masturbation, why it is good for you and go over simple tips for enjoying yourself more. We then move onto what makes partner sex fun and healthy, covering issues like orgasm, communication and safer sex. Throughout the lecture we touch on using sex toys and show some examples.


Sex Toys 101 In this workshop we talk about the history of sex toys, why a person might want to use them and what the heck they are for. We pass around examples of the different toys available and discuss safety and care. The idea is to demystify sex toys and start a dialogue about sexuality and healthy sex practices.


Tickling Your Fancy Sexuality & pleasure is still a great mystery to many of us. In this workshop we start at the beginning and talk about anatomy, dismiss myths you may have heard and talk about the nature of pleasure. We also discuss masturbation and its benefits and we’ll give you some great tips for feeling more comfortable in your body and enjoying your sexuality on your own or with a partner. The majority of the focus of this workshop is on vaginas and vulvas (as folks tend to have the most questions about those parts) but all types of bodies and pleasure zones are covered. 


Workshops all last between 1 and 1.5 hours. Time is always available at the end for individuals to ask questions. We can also tailor workshops to specific groups and present workshops on almost any sexuality-related topic.


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