Butt Sex for Cis Guys

Why would I want to engage in anal play and prostate pleasuring when my cock gets me off just fine?!

Because it’s fun and feels good! Everyone has the capacity to take great pleasure from anal stimulation. Anything--from a finger teasing the opening of an asshole, to oral and rim jobs, to the ripples on a string of anal beads, to the rich fullness of a butt plug, dildo (with a flared base, of course), or cock deep inside of you--can stimulate the nerve-rich area found in the first few inches inside of your asshole… and we recommend it for everyone!

But when it comes to butt play, cis men are truly lucky. Not only do they have access to the sexy feelings that people of all genders experience when their asshole is pressured, men have a special pleasure spot that can be stimulated by putting pressure on the inside wall of their ass about two knuckles deep. The feeling men get from stimulating their prostate gland, or P-spot, has been compared to the deep pleasure G-spot stimulation can bring a woman. Just as many people with vaginas can have particularly explosive orgasms when their G-spots are stimulated, many men have bed-shaking, screamingly-good, out-of-this-world climaxes when their P-spots are stimulated… especially when their cocks are getting in on the action at the same time!

 

So, why would you want to engage in anal play?

Because it feels good. Damn good. Because it will allow you to experience a depth and type of pleasure that penile stimulation, alone, cannot bring. Because it is a way of diversifying your sexual repertoire and spicing up your sex life. Because engaging in acts that have cultural taboos (no matter how misguided) surrounding them can be super sexy. Because giving your partner, especially if she’s a woman, an opportunity to penetrate you can be incredibly hot for both of you. Because it will give you an excuse to buy some of the cute, fun, sparkly sex toys that you always wanted but never knew how to use. Because-- and here’s an excuse even your mom couldn’t object to--it’s good for your health!

 

Anal play is good for my health? How?

Indeed, sexual acts of all kinds are good for your health (provided you practice safer-sex, that is). Sex gets your heart rate up, making it as good for you as a trip to the gym or a morning jog (depending, of course, on how vigorous you are in the sack). Sex and orgasm release neurotransmitters and hormones that not only decrease stress and anxiety, but make your skin glow, regulate your body temperature, help wounds heal, and facilitate deep sleep. And most of us just feel happier after a good romp in the boudoir, making our interpersonal and professional relationships flow extra smoothly.

But believe it or not, there’s more. Recent research has illuminated other ways in which sex (solo or partnered) is good for men’s health.

In 2003, an Australian team of scientists found that men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third as likely to develop prostate cancer as their less-frequently-ejaculating counterparts. The protective effect of coming regularly was particularly strong for men in their twenties. While the biological mechanisms underlying this exciting excuse to jerk off have not been determined, the researchers hypothesize that the prostate-flushing nature of ejaculation rids that seminal fluid-producing sweet spot of carcinogenic chemicals. In other words, get off! Get off alone, get off with a partner, with your hand on your cock or a finger or a toy up your asshole, because orgasms not only FEEL good, but can protect you from prostate cancer, the most common form of cancer among mAmerican men.

While the Australian study does not differentiate between the different methods used by men to ejaculate, it does suggest that the more you come, the better off you will be down the road (and, let’s face it, in the moment). And if you’re going to be coming several times a week, or one for that matter, you might as well experiment with different methods for bringing you to that grand finale.

If you’re not already dying to give in to your desires for anal pleasure, maybe the reminder that P-spot orgasms can be extra powerful will help. They are so powerful, in fact, that some report shooting extra-super-pressurized come across the room. Imagine what that kind of release feels like (not to mention all the prostate-cleansing such a burst can do)!

 

So, anal play and prostate stimulation sounds great and all, but I’m not gay. And I don’t want my girlfriend (or anybody else) to think I am!

While it’s true that many gay men love anal play and indulge in it frequently, there is nothing (besides fear-filled cultural stereotypes) to suggest that enjoying anal pleasures means that you are—or will become—gay. After all, most gay men are just as fond of receiving blow jobs as their straight brethren are–but how many heterosexual men think that enjoying having their cock sucked makes them gay? That’s right, NONE. So, all you men who love women (and men who love men!), double your pleasure by claiming the sexy spot that has been yours all along, and invite your partner (or yourself) to help you explore your most precious family jewel!

 

Okay, I’m convinced. Stimulating my P-spot sounds like it could be fun. How do I find it?

Your prostate gland is the site where your ejaculate is produced and is nestled between your bladder and your rectum (the technical term for asshole). It is also surrounded by nerves that control erectile function and feels too fabulous, when stimulated, to be ignored. While putting pressure on the perineum (the space between your balls and your ass, AKA ‘taint) can stimulate your prostate, your asshole is the best gateway to that exquisite pleasure zone. In addition, the asshole, itself, is packed with sensitive nerve endings that make the journey to the prostate as exciting as getting there is!

If what lies behind your backdoor may seem like dark and mysterious territory, you may be surprised to find how easy it is to access this walnut-sized gland that can bring you to mind-blowing, ground-shaking, toe-curling heights of pleasure! To begin, explore (alone or with a partner) the outer rim of your asshole with a finger. Because your asshole doesn’t produce any of its own natural lubrication, it is important to use a generous amount of personal lubricant while doing this and with all forms of anal play. Linger at your anal entryway with the pad of your finger, drawing circles around it, and enjoying the sensations that all those nerve endings shoot to your brain. When you’re ready for more, either during this session or another, slowly slip your finger in a little deeper—to about your second knuckle (two inches or so)—and bend it towards your belly in a “come hither” curl. If you feel a uniquely pleasant sensation when you touch that rounded spot, congratulations! You’ve found your P-spot!

 

That feels great! Now that I’ve found it, what do I do?

As with all sex acts, your body knows better than any sexpert what it likes best. But, to get you started, we’ll give you some ideas. First, experiment with placing different amounts of pressure on your prostate gland. Play with rhythm, too, and see what feels best. Try moving a lubricated finger in and out slowly, and curling your finger in that “come hither” style to hit your hot spot. With your (or your partner’s) other hand, stroke your cock and play with your balls. Touch the rest of your body or your lover’s. Make out. Do whatever feels good and keep on doing it. If you bring yourself to a P-spot orgasm the first time, great! But if not, don’t give up. As with every new sex act, it takes a while to become comfortable with the new sensations, and anal exploration is no different. In fact, because of the (unfounded) cultural taboos surrounding butt play, it may take even longer to become comfortable with it. But once you are…

You will be dying to expand your horizons even more! And the possibilities are endless. Many people like the texture of anal beads up their ass, especially during intercourse. Others like putting pressure on their asshole and prostate with a butt plug, and others like to have a dildo–-vibrating or not-–sliding in and out of their asshole. And the beauty of incorporating each of those toys into your sex life is that you don’t need a partner to do so. Just make sure that anything you put up your but has a flared end to keep it from getting lost.

Another way that many heterosexual men enjoy the power of their prostate is through strap-on sex with their partner. There are a wide range of sexy harnesses available, and at least as many toys that can fit inside of them so that your woman-friend can give you screamingly-good, super-deep, P-spot orgasms. Stroke your cock (or have it stroked) while you’re fucking to get the ride of your life!

Many couples like strap-on sex, not only because it feels incredible, but for the gender-bending/equalizing dynamic it can bring to their relationship, as well as the closeness that penetrative sex often creates. For more information on strap-on sex, check out the video Bend Over Boyfriend, an instructional video that will teach you as much as it will turn you on!

 

But that sounds like gay sex and I’m not gay. What if I like it?

If you like it up the ass, it means that you like it up the ass, and that’s all. If, however, you discover yourself regularly wishing that your girlfriend had facial hair and a penis, you might want to reconsider who you choose to sleep with.

 

What are some of the risks involved with anal play?

Your asshole is a tight, if elastic, hole (which is why it feels so darn good for both the penetrator and the receiver) and does not create its own natural lubricant. Because of its snug dryness, it is more prone to small tears and abrasions than vaginas are, and such tears can make sexually transmitted diseases easier to contract. However, these risks are easily managed through the generous use of personal lubricant and safer sex practices, including putting a condom on a penis or butt toys and washing sex toys thoroughly after each use, especially if you share toys or use them both vaginally and anally.

Some people are worried that anal play will make their hole “looser.” While it is true that the more you receive it up the ass, the more girth you will be able to take, it is not because your asshole becomes stretched out. Rather, the more that you penetrate this elastic hole, the more comfortable you will become with anal penetration and the easier it will become for you to relax the band of muscles surrounding your rectum.

Hygiene is another common concern with anal play. In order to ensure that your anal adventures are as hygienically-safe as possible, take a shower (alone or as sudsy form of foreplay!) and wash your backdoor area thoroughly. For additional deep-cleaning, some people like to do an enema several hours before engaging in anal play. If this makes you more comfortable, by all means do it, but please be aware that it is not necessary for safe, clean, fun, anal or P-spot probing. (If you are going to do an enema, give your body several hours to recover before engaging in play.) Enemas are not a necessity because your rectum (about six inches of love) is not a storage site for your feces, but merely a passageway. Unless you are holding back the need to go to the bathroom or are having digestion issues, your P-spot pleasure zone should be pretty darn clean. However, residue is a reality, and if the thought of that makes you uncomfortable, we recommend covering your toys, finger, or penis with a black condom or finger-cot. Chances are, however, you’ll be having so much fun with your magic boy-button that all other concerns will drop away! And don’t forget, a post-coital shower is always a fun way to cool down (and clean up!).

 

Wow. I can’t believe I’ve gone all these years without anal play! Where do I go for more information and supplies so I can get started ASAP?

Books and videos are always a great place to start! Follow this link to some of out favorite resources for anal play. For toys and other anal-exploration supplies, follow this link to some of our favorite butt toys and lubes, or come on into our store to peruse our selection in person. Our knowledgeable and friendly staff is always available to answer any questions you might have — in person, by the phone, or via email.